“The future husband does not want to wear a wedding ring”

“The future husband does not want to wear a wedding ring”

My young man and I have been in relations for five years and recently started talking about a wedding. He made it clear that it is fundamentally important for me to take his last name. I do not mind – I think that this is normal and natural, but when we started talking about the rings, the future husband said that he would not wear his own – they say, it was inconvenient, unusual and his father never wore. And for me this is important – I regard it as a sign that a man is proud of a family and social status. I am concerned about the fact that even after my explanations, he is not ready to step over his prejudices. And, it turns out, he expects that I will fulfill his wishes, but he is not ready to listen to my. How to build a dialogue to come to a compromise?

Anastasia, 21

Anastasia, often we have to take into account the rules and habits that existed in parental families – our own and our partners. Your young man seems to intend to follow the family tradition: his father never wore a wedding ring, and he himself does not plan. And as it was in your family? Your

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mother took the name of her husband, your father?

I think you yourself understand that well -being in marriage does not depend on whether your husband will wear a ring or not. Another thing is if all these five years you went towards the wishes of the young man, took them into account, and he did not take into account your. In this case, we can talk about the imbalance.

The main thing that I want to ask you about is all these years you have managed to reach agreements on other important issues? If so, then this time you can agree: for example, so that the future husband at the wedding and the next day wear a ring, and then removed if he is really inconvenient. Which, by the way, is quite possible – for example, a person may have an allergy to a certain metal or ring can interfere with his work.

Wearing a ring seems to you pride, but, on the other hand, this is only an external paraphernalia. Real devotion to the family and wife is expressed in another – care, respect, honesty, love. All this should manifest itself in real actions and actions daily. Is your young man proud of you now? If so, it will be proud of after the wedding, and it will be noticeable – with or without a ring.

A compromise in a pair is often not “I did it-and you do”, but flexibility in solving issues when you can depart from something less important. I repeat, not external attributes are important, but the attitude of a loved one towards you.